That Moment You Realize...
You're just not as good.
Do you laugh or go home?
I, personally, chose to LAUGH.
Once upon a time in the early days of my theater career, I was called back for the national tour of "Young Frankenstein" and was, at that time, considered a Sutton Foster type...lean and loud, essentially.
I was HYPED about the call back, and why not? It was an audition I hadn't even planned on going to, but did so because I was at the studio already and the line was non-existent (quite rare for a non-equity open-call) and I had the proper sheet music on hand. I remember thinking the girl behind the casting table couldn't have been much older than me (19 at the time), and how she was probably an intern, and how this was probably a waste of time, and how I probably wasn't going to get a call-back because she asked what "Beginner/Intermediate Tap" meant on my resume and then commented that it was a tap heavy show. I can't even remember how I responded.
Lo and Behold I got a call-back. I dusted off my tap shoes, put on some nice dance attire and pulled my hair back. I thought, if I can get through the tap combo, I'll be able to sing for them and then atleast I'll have a chance.
No such hope, but it's nice to remember how optimistic I was.
As I warmed up in the holding room, I opened my ears a little (which, honestly, is a dangerous thing to do in an audition's holding room) and I realized that most of the women were going through the callback combination, or helping another remember the combination, or talking about the Young Frankenstein tour that they had already been apart of, or discussing the amount of times they'd been to this callback. It hadn't even begun and I was already behind. Most of them were wearing unitards, and I still can't figure out why that bothered me.
How poorly I did in the actual callback...I'm not sure I could write an accurate description. The combination was taught so quickly I couldn't even get one 8 count down, so my only hope was to smile smile smile and attempt to move in the same direction as the other ladies. I literally laughed myself the whole way through it. If I didn't see the hilarity of my situation, but focused instead on how hopeless an audition can make you feel, how meaningless it can all seem, how stupid and amateur you think you look because you don't own a unitard...I would've cried. There was a moment at the very beginning I considered leaving, not wasting the Casting Directors time. But ya know what? It was that intern that called me back, so if anyone was to be blamed for time wasted, it was her. Besides, they were paid to be there, I wasn't.
If you just give up and walk out, you're saving yourself a little humiliation, sure, but you're also keeping yourself from learning to put the pride monster to sleep, and if he doesn't get a good nap every now and then, you'll never realize how much more there is to learn.
I still chuckle to myself about that day.
-KB
